Tough Love....?

Good Luck with that!! Doesn't work with the gifted sensitive child. What it does do is leave them with nightmares for weeks. If you get a kick out of emotional meltdowns every time a situation reminds your child of the 'tough-love' episode and getting up every 20 minutes to help your child while she weeps & wails in her sleep....go for it!
I wouldn't recommend it. The sleep techniques where you wait for 4 minutes, go in - calm her down - go out - wait again - go in - calm her down - go out - wait again.......yea - what a crock! Doesn't work. It goes on and on and on and when she finally drops off to sleep - it's because she's exhausted. Night after night. It can take two weeks some say....way to go to really traumatise your child - let it sit in her mind that you won't be there for her when she needs you. I'll debate till the cows come home that that approach has any healthy effect with a sensitive child.

When it comes to being out of the home, in the care of another - I will also debate the so called 'necessity' of  a toddler learning to be independent of their parents - especially when that toddler is the sensitive type. In the child's mind, when you walk away and leave them somewhere they don't feel comfortable with, they think you have abandoned them. It doesn't matter whether or not it's true - that's how they remember it and if they process that perception into a core belief, you've got some real problems in the making. This is particularly true if they are unfortunate enough for life's events to continue reinforce the idea that they have been put aside. This can happen with small events like having difficulty fitting in and making friends to huge events like divorce or the death of a parent.

People get quite judgmental - they say you're spoiling or molly-coddling. Stick to your instincts - you know the difference between attention seeking, paddy's and distress and it's very, very distinct. Pre-school teachers are fond of implying that the problem is really yours and you're too clingy (sometimes in my case - it could be true lol but not always, by any means). Sophia is learning to be independent from her parents in small, gentle, patient steps. I think she's better for it and so are we. And why not, if you are able.